


egg

by JayBird_13



Category: Chef RPF, Food Network RPF
Genre: Bad Spelling & Grammar, Cooking, Crack, Eggs, First Kiss, Grocery Shopping, Implied Authoritarian Government, M/M, Making Out, Mutual Pining, Pining, this is not a "haha silly" crackfic it is a fever dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:55:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29597946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayBird_13/pseuds/JayBird_13
Summary: the story of guy fieri and paul hollywood
Relationships: Guy Fieri/Paul Hollywood
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	egg

**Author's Note:**

  * For [writer_bird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writer_bird/gifts).



> hm yea i don't think i'm gonna provide context for this

guy fieri and paul hollywood had not met until one lovely tuesday evening when paul went to guy's house to borrow soome hegggs. paul neeeded the eggs for his food dish that would be tasty if it had eggs. guy did not have anny eggs! so they had to go to the store to buy some eggs for paul. they went to the store and paul saw some egs. as he was walking towards them he tripped and fell on guy. guy looks up at paul from where he lay sprawled attractively acroose the grocery store floor. paul gazed down with lust in his eyes. the two began to lean closer togeth when suddenly paul sat up. the eggs!" he shouted. guy fr sighed with sadness. he had really wanted to kiss paul. paul was so serious unlike guy. guy wished he could be as cool as paul. paul reached for the eggs and as he did he sighed a little bit as well. he had really wanted to show guy *just* how much he admired the other man's go with the flow nature. he grabbel the eggs and as the two were going to the checkout they noticed that the checkoud manager was y/n! paul approached y/n. "may we buy these eggs?" he asked. y/n had seen them fall on top of each other earllier and knew what to do. "i need to know what you will do with them first. paul turned pale. "we are going to make food." "food????" y/n asked. you know here in flavortown we are not alllowed to make food unless it is for a certain occasoion. guy was sad. pual said oh no. y/n looked between them. "are you having an occasion or do i need to call the evil police? jason derulo is on duty now. he is mean and strong. " paul said "we have and occasion!!!" y/n was skeptical. "what is ist? it must be on the list of approveld occasions or else you will have to eat gruel instead of food. " guy realized the only occasions allowed were business party, quinecenaria, and romantic date. they were unempleyed (it was easy to saey that paul and guy wrer unemploeyd becaus ethey both had a large L tattoed on their foreheads) and they were not 15 or mhispanic so quineceanrea and work party were out. that meanst.... "me and paul are on a romantic date" sau=id guy. y/n smiled. i will not call th e veevil police. bu t you have to prove it. kiss noew" paul licked ihis lips. guy hlicked his lips. then theny licked each others lips for 222143 seconds. y/n got bored so y/n downloaded flappy birnd. they werre still kissing. y/n becaome worreid. "please stop. take the eggs and go. please. pelasae. please." guy flipped y/n off. y/n was shocked, that was not something guy wou,d do normally.

**Author's Note:**

> paul and guy are still kissing to this day.
> 
> to my 10 subscribers who might've gotten an email about this and read it without knowing what you were getting yourself into: i'm so sorry
> 
> to everyone else: ...huh


End file.
